My husband

J is very selfless. He would do anything for anyone. When we moved into our first house it was crazy. He quit his job to pursue running his own company, he bought a new truck, Ava was days old, and we bought a new house. It was crazy. And we had NO MONEY. The little we had was what he was getting from small concrete jobs..and I mean small. He always carried cash in his wallet (as most contruction workers do I think) and was out doing stuff one day. He had come home to tell me that he had given some money to someone. Some random person had approached him and asked for money. In that situation, most would either say no, or give a few dollars. Not J. He gave this man $150!! That may seem like nothing..but at the time, to us, it was A LOT! He was confident we'd be blessed for it. He had no doubt. Not a flicker.

J would do anything for me. He's the kind of husband that knows when I need a night out and will watch all the kids, even my girlfriends kids, so that we can enjoy a night out. It's a special man who is willing to spend a Friday night at home with a house full of kids. Ever since we met, he has always done everything in his control to make me happy. Even moving here, he tries everyday to make this experience a good one. I'm always asleep when he comes home and he doesn't know it, but I hear him every night get on his knees and pray for me and that I'll be ok here.

J loves his mom. In fact, if he's doing something that makes me crazy, I theaten him with telling on him to his mom and he does not like it. His love, respect, admiration for his mother is one of the things that made me want to marry him. The way he treats her is exactly how I knew he'd treat me. He is tender. Loving. Respectful. Compassionate. Empathetic. Wonderful.

J is an amazing father. The kind of relationship he has with our children is amazing. I know they want to be like him. He's the kind of dad that after a long day at work, where he might be justified in sitting on the couch and relaxing, he won't. He knows it's the time of day where he can spend time with his kids. He will wrestle with them, teach them to ride a bike, help them with homework, give baths and read to them. And he doesn't do any of this with protest. He actually enjoys it.

J is the kind of friend who will give his friend a ride to the airport at 4 am.

J will wait on his bike during a race for his friend to catch up to help him finish.

J is the kind of person who can handle emergency situations with confidence. When my sister flew out of a tube on the lake, and she couldn't move her legs, he knew exactly what to do. And he proceeded to hold her head in his hands in the HOT SUN for over half an hour, while the ambulance was trying to locate us on the lake. His arms were shaking after 10 minutes but he never moved.

J tells me he loves me everyday. He tells me I'm beautiful. He tells me I'm amazing for coming here.

J is the best.

So why am I taking the time to brag? I mean I must sound so cheesy!

Well.....

This has been the most difficult week for me here. And I had to remind myself why I am here. This has been a dream of J's ever since I met him. He has always wanted to be a doctor. As much as I have fought this, I know it is what he has always wanted to do. And while being here has challenged me in more ways than I ever thought possible, I know in the end, everything will be ok. I know that THINGS WON'T ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS. It has been a week of cold showers, no water (again) falling on my knees on our stairs, a permanently sad, crying baby, drug related violence that is so scary that some wives are moving back to the States and others have decided it's best not to go out at night, and only seeing my husband for a few minutes a day. I will admit, I have shed many tears this week. I don't cry often so I have felt somewhat of a failure this week. I hide my tears from my family for fear that they will think this is a bad place and from J so that he doesn't feel guilt for bringing me here. I have to accept that my tears are ok. That this was a bad week, but next week will be better. That I am lucky to be here with someone who will take care of me. And even though this is hard, things won't always be like this. And when it feels easy, things won't always be like this. So it goes...

XO